I am back with an update on the move and this post about never settling for less. Warning – this is going to be very personal! I think you can handle it though. You know me.
The move has been a lot tougher than I expected, if I’m being completely honest. I wish I could say it’s been a piece of cake and I’m fitting back into Seattle quite nicely, but it’s just not true. I feel weird being back, and living with my parents . . . well . . . it’s hard after being on my own for so long. I feel like I’ve reverted to my childhood, and like I’ve taken a step backwards. That part is hard.
There’s also the issue of a job. I’ve been looking diligently, and I guess these things just take time. I’ve realized from this whole experience that 1) I’m a very social person and 2) having a day job gives me piece of mind and gratification. Not just because of the salary, but I like a routine. I love interacting with people. I’m not doing that now, and it’s wearing on me, and making me lose confidence. But hopefully something will come along soon.
The whole scenario has caused me to think “did I make a mistake?” It’s also caused me to fall into a bit of a depression. And ask a lot of questions. Did I think this plan out well enough before I did it? How do you really know what the “right thing” is? Am I going to get a job? A place to live? Eventually will I get married – and then have a child?
I just have to focus on not settling . . . moving forward. I think it has to get worse before it gets better. Do you agree? I’d love to hear your advice – and your stories about never settling!
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Blogger who loves the color blue and sock monkeys. You can find me in public easily— I'm wearing glasses and lots of stripes.
Never settle is right! Without the valleys we don’t appreciate the peaks.
As far as missing the social aspect of working, I totally understand. I’m in a bit of a different situation from you, but I remedied this by volunteering. Volunteer organizations always need help and, who knows, you might meet some great new friends to establish your new life in the old scene…or even someone looking to hire a great employee like you! You may even get lucky enough to find something using your core skills that you can even put on your resume to fill this gap.
Here’s hoping you find what you are looking for!!!
Amy, transitioning is always difficult. Give yourself some time — and get outside whenever the sun shines here in Seattle. Check out amazon’s job website — they cannot keep up with hiring right now. You wanted some change in your life, and the best way to do that is to change some things. You did that. Now, you need to just hang on — the ride may get a little rocky for a while, but you’ll get where you’re going, I promise.
There’s some great advice here already! Don’t be so hard on yourself, Amy, and know that it will all unfold for you. Even those who seem to have a plan don’t really know what the next five years, three years, or even six months hold in store for them. Make your daily goals, and focus on those, and you’ll be in a completely different place in six months. Promise! Take care, Amy.
When my husband and I first moved our family down here we lived with my parents. It ended up being a lot longer than we had originally expected and it. was. hard. Seriously. It wore on us as individuals and wore on our marriage. I had been independent so long that the transition was very difficult. But it did end! We now own our own home and have complete independence. I know it’s hard but I guess you just have to have patience.
Volunteer. Feeling needed and useful is key.
I want to send you a big (((hug))), girl! I’m a big believer that things happen for a reason. Hang in there, keep looking for what you want and it will find you… eventually. I know it.
I’ve been trying to remind myself that you have to let yourself get through all 4 seasons in a new place. I’ve made it through one season…
Amy you totally did the right thing! I was a teacher. I lived for it. Then I had my kids and realized that everything shifted to them. I no longer wanted to teach. So I quit. We had to plan for a few years, and those were hard. Now that I find myself right where I wanted to be for so long, there are definitely days where I ask myself, “Well… what now?” I realize now that it’s not that I didn’t want to work- it’s that I didn’t want to work away from my children. I need to find things I can do to make money that are flexible.
As far as getting married… my husband was the last of a long line of wrong men. And then I met him… online. We are so happily married! And there were definitely days where I just wanted to give up on that, too. Once I did kind of just “let it be” is when he showed up. You never know what’s around the next corner!
I know you can make it. You have so much going for you. This is a temporary setback, and you’re lucky to have a safety net. Think of it as a nice opportunity to spend time with your parents, because they won’t be around forever. Ever heard of the Five O’Clock Club? I went to a free series of lectures by a local member. They have books that are really helpful for job searches. It’s worth a shot. Check them out.
My heart goes out to you, Amy. Try to remember the feelings you had before you moved, the driving force behind your excitement. Things are not always as we remember them but that doesn’t mean the difference is bad. Trust your instincts — always. Also, give yourself time …
dear amy..it will work out..sending up prayers for you…and a hug ur way
you should know that your blog brings alot of happiness and smiles to alot of us and if that would pay a salary you would be amy trump. Hang in there 
You’re job hunting in a really difficult time…that is the reason it’s so hard! Nothing to do with you. What would have taken a few weeks might take a few months, but it will happen.
Just to get out and socialize a bit, maybe you could look at meetup.com for some craft groups or game nights or reading groups, anything to get out and have some fun with other people! I’ve met some really nice people this way.
Check out the book Transitions by Bridges. You’re in the Neutral Zone. It’s part of the process. Hang in there and keep at it.
I work third shift at a hospital and the oldest member of the staff there so it is really tough for me. I try to fit in, but being over double everyone else age it rough. Then working third, it is hard to get to do anything that normal people my age do to socialize. I can’t go out to the bars or go to movies.
I have joined several clubs and make sure that I have my nights off before the meetings. I also do a couple gallery shows with the clubs. I enjoy this so much because I actually get to talk to women my own age. It sounds silly to some, but just being with those withing your own age bracket makes a big difference in how you feel about yourself because you share common cultural history & they do know where they were when Armstrong landed on the Moon. If you are interested in joining a great Art group there in the Seattle area that I think would help you jump start your socializing please private me & I’ll give you my friend’s name that lives out there. I was so jealous when she’d tell me all the fun things they do until I found my own group here.
Then of course, I socialize here on the internet. I’ve found some very wonderful women way back over 10 years ago on a Delphi Forum group & we still communicate & have gotten close. I don’t feel so alone any more.
dot
Lots of great advice here! Don’t regret anything, embrace this and all changes! Trust me it a good thing!
This is a great post, Amy! And I think you are not alone in feeling this way…you’ve said some insightful things already, so it sounds like you know it’ll all be worth it in the end. Sending happy thoughts your way! xo
Sounds like you are going through a necessary and completely appropriate questioning phase! ‘Did I think this plan out carefully enough’ is the one that always makes me crazy – I constantly ask myself that, but it always turns out that no matter HOW carefully I thought something out, the result was unexpected in some major way. So I am trying to be a little more que sera about these big decisions. There’s no predicting, really – so try not to second guess yourself, Amy. I just know you are so ridiculously cool that all the things you want will come your way, because you deserve them.
Lots of people have already said what I was thinking- It will work out, you just need to give it some time. Although it does sometimes get worse before it gets better, I really do think things happen for a reason and you just have to do your best to keep your head up. I totally understand how the situation can get you down and feeling like you’ve taken a step back. But I really believe that there is an opportunity in every situation to grow or learn about yourself. Those times prepare you for whatever is next. And you never know, you might look back on this later and see it as a wonderful opportunity to spend some time with your parents. : )
Amy I totally relate to what you are going through as I’ve been through a similar situation. I was a bartender at a local hot spot for nearly a decade (the perfect job for a social butterfly) when a life change forced me to leave that part of my life behind and move back home. Although it was one of the hardest things I have ever done I had to force myself to keep moving forward. I second guessed myself a lot and spent even more time missing the social situations I once had. As time went on new doors were opened for me and I realized that everything DOES happen for a reason. It has been a bumpy road but that was just life telling me to keep my eyes open and my hands steady on the wheel till I hit the straight away and can hit cruise control (haven’t gotten there yet but I’m hopeful that it’s just around the bend). I know you will hit the straight away soon. Just brace yourself for the bumps in the road and enjoy the ride
Amy*
“move forward” is a phrase i’m hearing a whoooole lot lately – i’m pretty sure God is trying to get my attention
i understand not wanting to settle; i totally do. my story? all my life i’ve wanted to teach. i’ve been a substitute for the last two three years as i continue to wait for the right job to come along. have i wanted to quit along the way and do something else? absolutely. but i KNOW this is what i’m supposed to do so i choose to hang in there. i have to believe the waiting will make it worth it. sometimes plan b or c or whatever turns out to be even better than plan a 
Hang in there. In some manner or another, whether it’s the way you envision it or not, things will sort themselves out. You moved for the right reasons. The job market still, simply put, ain’t great so it takes a while to find something. It’ll all work out though. Give it some time.
Life-changing transitions don’t complete themselves in about a month.
This is the best time for you now: time to slow down, and yes, maybe even feel a bit child-like for a short while, and delve deep into yourself to know what you want. You are in a great position to immerse yourself in this. I do understand what you mean by the routine and productivity of a steady job. But as others have said, and as I know YOU know too: things happen for a reason, and when it is time. Maybe plan an independent book tour for your book release starting in June? You could do a regional tour and combine it with some workshops – teach more crafty types to become “Podgy People” – and sell some books at the same time. In conclusion: I just adore those sneakers! 
Hugs!
You JUST got to Seattle – give yourself some time. All your reasons for moving were sound, so it was clearly the right decision. Wishing you the best!
It’s really tough what you’re going through Amy. And you can’t see into the future. But that’s a good thing cause if you could, there’d be nothing magical left for you. Nothing left to discover. Rely on your creativity. You are blessed with loads of it. Let it guide you through these tough days. Be creative about everything you do: who you talk to, how you spend your quiet moments, where you go, what you eat. That will keep things interesting and I bet it will open your eyes to the goodness of this new place. You are strong. You’ll get there!!! xox Michele
hang in there amy.
there was something calling you back to seattle, trust it and give yourself time. change is scary, but also refreshing and new!
will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, hoping that things fall into place for you soon.
Welcome to WA. There are many people who are glad you are here.
You have arrived at a time when the economy is tough. Jobs, at least jobs worth having, are scarce. But that doesn’t mean there are none to be had. Keep pursuing those that sound interesting, but consider how you could create your own income. You already have a brand, how can you use it to make a living wage for yourself? What about workshops on the crafts you do in your blog? There are many who learn better hands on. Check with local parks and rec programs, they sometimes host summer programs for youth that some of your crafts might appeal to. Have you thought about offering workshops to daycare, or elderly care facilities, the YMCA, etc? Keep an eye out for other groups who might enjoy your wonderful way with crafts. 
You already write, have you thought about applying to some magazines or other publications? What about creating your own? Independant publications do well here in WA. Also check out kickstarter.com, this might be something you can use to get you started. Things will work out just like they always do. Patience helps, but so does getting out there and creating the life you want. Best wishes!! 
Rita
You can absolutely do this! Look how many people are behind you. Try not to rush into anything because you are floundering a little. Think it through. Praying for you.
I found myself moving in with my Mom after my Husband passed… my Dad passed a month after my Husband. It was tough and it wasn’t easy moving in with Mom, but I’m so glad for the opportunity of learning about my Mom…as an adult. She was always my friend but she quickly became my BEST Friend! She passed in 2007 and I miss her soooo much! Just take the time to learn about your parents as an adult, you will never regret the experience!
You will end up doing what you are meant to do, where you are meant to do it, and when you are meant to do it. It has to be hard to go so far from where you were, with no assurance that it will all work out, but keep the faith.
There is a story that likens our lives to the looking at the underside of an oriental carpet. We cannot see the design, we cannot see the places we made the twists and turns, but have to believe the end result is beautiful! I am a firm believer in everything in life happening for a reason and that nothing just happens, but is part of our grand plan. We don’t understand it now or even like it very much, but in the end it is lovely as it is the tapestry of our lives.
All of your thoughts went thru my head a few years ago. Some are still running thru my mind! Its been 3.5 years since I held a regular job and took in a salary. In the meantime, I’ve gone back to school and held a few jobs within my new industry, made new friends, and been back and forth with anxiety and depression, most of it unknown to my family (even though I am living with my mom now). But I think it gets better and I’ve basically come to the choice not to wait around for my “salary job” anymore and pursue my arts/crafts passion instead and make that my career choice! Along with my massage therapy career too