Moving update.

Yep, this is me – in 2001. Outside of the last apartment I occupied in Seattle. My friend Cody and I were doing a fun photo shoot with thrift store buys that day, hence the crazy clothes. I lived above a wine shop, I had survived an earthquake and phone numbers didn’t require area codes (as you can see from the “For Rent” sign). That was 11 years ago.

Now I’m moving back.

This move has been a long time coming. I moved to Georgia because of my parents. My dad was a long time employee of UPS in senior management, and as a result we were transferred to Connecticut and Kentucky during my childhood. Transferring was really hard on me, so when I had the chance to go back to Seattle and attend college in 1997, I did. My parents moved from Kentucky to Georgia in 1999, and they wanted me to leave Seattle to join them – but I wasn’t ready then. So in September 2001 (right after the WTC disaster) I made the move, and proceeded to go through the greatest depression I’d ever experience. It took a doctor from a small clinic to diagnose it, and then medication and counseling to be okay. But I have to be honest with you, I’ve never fit 100% here.

I’m one of those people that, yes, it does matter where I live. I think of places to live like boyfriends. Sometimes a guy can be really nice, but just not a good fit. Not every man is good for every woman. There’s nothing “wrong” with Atlanta; it’s just not for me. And I also understand that there are some people who don’t see it that way – some people are okay anywhere. I envy those people to a certain extent, because it can be a real pain in the bum to have to be in a certain place. It does make sense for me, though. As a child, I cried on extended trips from home, even slumber parties. I always wanted to go home (though it also could have been the fact that my best friend had floor-to-ceiling New Kids On The Block posters and it freaked me out).

I have to confess: now that I’ve been here for a little over ten years, I have mixed emotions about leaving. Do I want to leave? Yes. I want to go home. But I have also made friends and built relationships, and it’s much harder to move in my thirties than it was in my twenties. I look at my life – I’m 35 – unmarried – apartment dweller . . . and I wonder when I’m going to have it all together? And I get a little bit scared, because I do want a child, and I feel like I’m running out of time. Can I really be 35 and still not know what the next five years are going to be like? AT ALL?

Did I mention that I’m giving most of my stuff away? I have been amazed at the amount of CRAP that can fit into a one bedroom apartment. Where has all of this stuff been hiding in Mod Podge Command Central? I’ve decided it’s time to pare down, and it was kind of forced on me anyway when the ReloCube arrived today and got plunked into its parking spot. Let’s just say this cube is supposed to hold the goodies of a one-bedroom apartment, but it’s not big. I am also officially the worst packer/mover in the entire world, because I’m slow and not a good judge of space. I kind of hate it. I guess no one really likes moving – though the bright side is that I am getting rid of SO much stuff that I don’t need and haven’t seen in years. It’s freeing, really. Stuff truly weighs me down and stresses me out. Making my life fit into a cube is quite satisfying. My life fits into a parking spot.

Emotionally I’m holding up well . . . and physically, I feel like I need to exercise. My move is bloating me (gross!). Can a move make you retain water? But this is the difference between moving when you are 24 and when you are 35. I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was 24 I just threw all my crap (of which there was even less) into a box and didn’t think about it. I remember that when I moved here, I sent some of my boxes by train and they got lost for awhile. I thought, “oh well!” It just wasn’t that big of deal.

I leave next Wednesday, February 22nd, first thing in the morning. I’m driving to just outside of Dallas, and picking my mom up at the Dallas airport the next day to join me for the rest of the trip. From Dallas we’ll be heading west on I-20 and then I-10 . . . we might need to keep south depending on the weather. Plus, I’ve been to the southwest but never driven that route, so I think it’s time. The dogs are going to be in the car, so this should be an interesting trip.

I’m thinking about all of you who are also going through things . . . especially those who commented on my last entry about the changes they are experiencing. It feels good that at least we’re not alone. We’re all going through something together, right? Send up a prayer for me over the next few days as I struggle to get my cube packed, my stuff given away and my butt on the road. And let me know if you need a prayer too – I will be glad to reciprocate. I’ll give you another update soon!

Comments

  1. says

    I am one of those people that can’t just live anywhere either. I get homesick too. I am at “home” now. Sometimes I wish I had it in me to just pick up and go somewhere new…anyway, I will be thinking of you and praying for a smooth transition!

  2. Bethany @ A Fish Who Likes Flowers says

    I wish you safe travels. I also think that whatever questions you’re asking yourself, you’ll feel better once you’re finally home. If Seattle is where you are meant to be, you will know it when you arrive. I’m glad that you’re able to follow your heart. Some of us are not so lucky.

  3. California Girl says

    I wish you a safe trip. You will be fine. I am sure it will be fun to be near family. Imagine all the vintage things you will find and all the treasures that will be waiting for you. Take care, Alma

  4. dora maria says

    Good luck! A bit jealous, lived 10 years in Seattle so a piece of my heart is there, my kids were all born there!

  5. CreationsbyJune says

    Oh Amy, I can SOOO relate to how you feel! I currently have lived in Iowa for 16 years but this summer I am moving back home.. to Oregon! I am so excited and nervous and scared and relieved… and am starting to realize I have so much to do in the next 4 1/2 months (do I hire a mover or pack a pod? what is it going to like being in a car for 32 hrs with a cat and a dog? Who will need the tranquilizers the pets or me?) I cant wait to read your updates to see how it goes! safe travels Lady!!
    June

  6. Christine says

    Good luck Amy! It sounds like this is the right thing for you at this time. You, your mom and the doggies wil have a fun trip! I pray all goes well and if you would throw a prayer up for my cousin who is fighting cancer, I’d appreciate it!!!

  7. Heather - Dollarstorecrafts.com says

    Amy, you are at the most annoying part of moving – the actual packing & moving part!! You are doing awesome. You’re gonna feel so good when you pull into Washington!!

  8. Lovelinest says

    I think you’re very brave. It takes a lot of courage to do what you’re doing.
    Wave to me when you drive through Dallas! I live in a rural area outside of Dallas, sort of near Southfork. This little small town is home to me, so I understand you’re need to move back to the place that feels like home.

  9. Deirdre Lovelace says

    OMGoodness!! I am SOOOOOOO Proud of you and SOOOOOO with EXACTLY how you feel! I’m going to send you an email… Safe travels!! And THANK YOU for all your honesty and bravery! YOU GO GIRL!!!

  10. Patricia L says

    So funny. My family recently moved from Alabama to Wisconsin. We moved to Alabama when I was in my 20s and now I’m in my 30s. Unlike you, though, I felt like I was LEAVING home instead of going to it. Because we have kids, I put on a “it’s all great” face, but inside it’s just as hard on me as it is on them. Good luck with your move!

  11. Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions says

    Good luck with your move, Amy. You need to do what’s right for you. At the end of September, we moved from NY to Ohio. My husband got a new position in his company and the transfer was part of it. We are native New Yorkers and have never lived anywhere else. Although we had planned to downsize anyway {empty nesters} an out of state move was not our original plan.

    My son stayed behind and while I miss him and hope he will come here, too, it is a very nice State; nice people; and so much more affordable than NY. So far, I’m happy.

  12. PitterAndGlink says

    Prayers for you, Amy! I can understand the mixed emotions. But it should be an awesome adventure! :)

  13. Katie says

    Long time reader, but never commented! As someone who just moved back home after 15 years in the south, it’s so worth it! Wishing you much peace and renewed creativity and happiness in your new home.

  14. Jenni says

    Wishing you safe travels Amy, the packing is the hardest part and you are almost there! Amazing how much “stuff accumulates in such little space huh?!

    Thoughts and prayers are with you.

  15. Felicia Kramer says

    I very much understand everything you said, Amy. Been there, done that. I think you do get more attached to your home and “things” as you get older. I don’t know if today I could do what you are doing, although I didn’t hesitate to do it when I was your age.

    My older sister at 74 is downsizing to independent living and the process of eliminating a lifetime of possessions and comfort is very emotionally draining.

    Safe travels and carpe diem to you!!

  16. lacey says

    I am 33 and never been married, no kids and live in a rental. I wonder when I’m going to have the life I want but things don’t always go according to plan. This was definately not the plan. I just have to have hope that everything is going to work out and there is a better plan in the works. Don’t lose hope and I think you are brave for putting it all out there because I get asked all the time about kids and I feel like I have to lie and say that I don’t want kids just to avoid the looks and people telling me I am too old. I hope you have smooth travels and your plans work out

  17. ~amy~ says

    Have a safe road trip! All of my adult life I’ve lived in Washington and can’t imagine living anywhere else…so I totally get it:)

  18. Colleen Jorgensen says

    Aw, Amy, you put into words what I’ve been trying to say for a long time. I’m lucky to have a house and all, but it’s just not Home.

    I’m so excited for you. I know this is a great move for you and everything will fall into place soon!

  19. Jessabells says

    Home is where your heart is and if your heart is in Seattle than that is where you need to be. Life takes us in all different directions and sometimes we don’t even realize that it is meant to be that way. Life would be too boring and null of experiences.

    Have a safe trip back to Seattle. Hope you find what you need there. And I’m 35 and honestly everyday I find out new things about myself. We are forever changing.

  20. Steph @ Crafting in the Rain says

    Good luck in your move, and welcome back to the Evergreen State :)
    Looking forward to seeing you at SNAP!

  21. Michele Pacey says

    You take care of yourself Amy. You’ve lightened your load and you’re almost ready to go. A new adventure in a comfortable place sounds like the right thing to do. Best of luck!

  22. Seattle MFT says

    Welcome Back to Seattle! It’s tough, but you’re always welcomed back with a good cup of coffee and a Top Pot donut. :)

  23. Woman of Many Thoughts says

    I feel like Buddy the Elf when he is so excited that Santa’s coming, “you’re moving to Seattle?! I know Seattle!”. Haha, you’ve really got to get the visual going in your head to truly apreciate the humor. :). I moved to the East side of Washington 16 months ago from Bellingham. It was quite the culture shock for me. Bellingham still feels like home. Seattle feels like home. The West side feels like home. I understand you. Welcome home, girl. My fear is that 11 years from now I will still feel the same.

  24. Cindy deRosier says

    I completely relate to what you’re saying. I feel like I *belong* here (near San Francisco). There isn’t necessarily anything wrong with other places, but they aren’t for me. Best wishes with your move. If I had to be anywhere other than here, it would be the Seattle area.

  25. Denise at One Little Starfish says

    Reading this post is like reading about my life 6 years ago. My daughter and I lived in CA and I was bummed out and needed a change so badly. I had lived there my whole life, but it just wasn’t working anymore (economy, dead end job, too expensive to buy a house, bad schools, relationships that were bringing me down even more). I was 36 and stuck in a rut. It was time for a change. So I went job hunting and a few months later we moved to NC and bought a house. We got rid of about half what we owned. Looking around the house now I realize I have only 2 pieces of the furniture we moved here. I like to redecorate constantly and I should have left it all behind. Moving was the best thing for us. My daughter is in a much better school district, we own a home now and at age 37 I met Mr. Right and got married (never thought that was gonna happen). Sometimes we need a change, to purge our stuff, get a fresh start and a new perspective. I’m glad you are going with your gut. God has a plan and I’m excited to see what His plan is for you.

  26. ThreeOldKeys says

    a new chapter in your life … is it okay to be a little bit jealous?

    good luck with all the new adventures ahead !!!

  27. ~The Robin's Nest~ says

    I will be praying for you~ AND we in Seattle welcome you back with open arms. I’m just south of Seattle and though many may think it’s a depressing place to live, I’m not one of them. I love that you can be in the mountains and the ocean all in one day. The rain is what makes everything green and beautiful…There’s no place like it! Enjoy your trip and welcome home.
    P.S. My husband is in management for UPS :)

  28. Chris says

    Even tho I am 29, I totally feel you on the “running out of time” thoughts. When I turned 28 I felt like I went thru a midlife crisis, nothing was in order, I was living at home and unemployed and felt like I didn’t have a prayer! I’m still living at home, but finally I feel like my life is moving in the right direction, however slow. I hope to finally move out before I turn 30 (next January is my goal!), and by then I hope to really be making money off all my passions!

    And then in a few years I want to make a bigger change, move out of Ohio and go to the Carolinas! So good luck on your move, I’ll be thinking of you and hopefully learning from your experiences for when its my turn :)

  29. jengd says

    I’m envious that you know that where you are isn’t a good fit and you can do something about it. Once you’re married and have a kid, that’s not necessarily an easy thing to do. As for the having the kid part, don’t sweat it- you definitely have some time on that one. I think you’re definitely doing a good thing here and hopefully it puts things back on track for you and things start falling in place in all aspects of your life. Safe travels- I look forward to hearing of your next adventures- I’m living vicariously through you. :)

  30. GrandmaSoucie says

    Amy: I understand how you feel too. I want to be “home,” and we travel a lot, and although I can’t say I get depressed about being gone, I sure miss being in my own home, touching my things or just knowing that they are there for me to look at. Each decade seems to be a reality check on who we are and where we are in life!! I’m in my sixth decade now, and I still want my “nest” as much as I ever have. We have been thinking about moving back to Central Florida from the Panhandle of Florida, but then I start thinking to myself “I’m happy where I am!” We all have to do what we have to do. God only knows the answer. Good luck to you in your new endeavor. I have offered up the prayer that never fails “God’s will be done,” and I know God will guide you in your journey. Please let us know how it all goes. God bless you!! In everything, give thanks, GrandmaSoucie

  31. Heidi says

    Good Luck on the road trip {& move} Amy! We just made a big “life changing” move too, so I don’t envy what you are going through now! Just look at it as a new adventure and for exciting things to come!

  32. Anonymous says

    The best of luck to you. The new environ will be invigorating and refreshing. All the doubt, hard work and fear will be worth it. I have to believe that because I too am hoping to soon move to the place that calls to me. I wish you happy.

  33. Liz says

    Safe travels to you. I have to admit, I am envious of your bravery and your move! My husband and I want to move to the Seattle area someday. You are an inspiration! Good luck!

  34. says

    For some people moving is very difficult, and I’m one of those too. It can be very stressful deciding what to keep and what to dispose of. I hope everything works out exactly how it’s best for you.

  35. - Brittany aka Pretty Handy Girl says

    Oh Amy! I completely understand feeling like a place “fits” you. We lived in Charlottesville, VA 12 years ago (gulp, I didn’t realize it had been that long.) And when I really start to think about C’ville, I get all weepy. We only lived there 2 years but I had this crazy feeling that I was always meant to be there and maybe I grew up there in a past life.

    Safe travels friend and I look forward to meeting you on the West Coast and give you a big hug at that finish line (well a few days later.) Enjoy your new adventure! And pop lots of Advil! LOL.

    Brittany aka Pretty Handy Girl

  36. Joan V says

    Have a safe trip and enjoy the scenery along RT 10. I am sure your parents enjoyed having you live in ATL. Moving is like grieving the loss of a loved one. But, look on the bright side, you are going somewhere familiar. Hope you and the dogs enjoy your new home.

  37. Crafting Rebellion says

    Moving is great. It is scary but that is what life is all about I think, trying uncomfortable things. I think you just have to tell yourself that you can always move back. Why not try it and see? I have moved to many different states and know exactly what you mean about finding a fit. I would have to say you seem very hip and western states to me! You can always come to Denver next if you don’t like Seattle! :)

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